Caught On Guard

I shouldn't have felt anything from your random text.
"Time will never kill the pain" at 11:14PM
I guess it just didn't feel like it was one in a million this time.
I should've never took concern in "It doesn't matter".
I shouldn't have called you.
You're still the only one that could keep me talking for that long,
keep me wanting to keep talking.
I never wanted to stop talking to you.
I know you well enough to call your performance.
I felt your heart again, it was no act.
I got the truth from you last night.
You've realized I'm not your silly freshmen anymore.
So with your confession, you had nothing to lose.
It hurts, because you're still the only one.
Nobody has touched me in the ways that you have.
Which will always give you way right back to my heart.
Its not my place to be the one to understand why you did what you did.
I'm supposed to accept what you did & learn from it.
I think I've learned a wrong lesson here.
I learned to hate you.
Last night, I forgot,
& I missed you again, not just what you were to me.
I miss you.
I was convinced you lost me, I wanted nothing to do with you.
Now, I miss you?
My ears got caught on your words of the past.
My heart was then yanked along,
and smacked right up against you.
You had my virgin love,
so I grew to love you without reason.
Yes, high school got the best of you.
It got the best of me too.
But, I can't help but shake the feeling I get when I think about what I was put through.
You can't mend these scars.
And although maybe I might've wanted to,
I can't mend them either.
Time won't kill the pain, but it'll help in other ways.
And those other ways, will rid your pain.
I can't keep letting you go like this.
You gotta stop coming back to me.

Everybody tells me what you are.
But my opinion of you, is always on me.
Oh, how you can make me sway.

Pushed Passed Tolerance Point.

I'm tired.
I'm tired of having mad mess said about me.
To friends who I believed would stick up for me.
I'm tired of being penalized for misinterpretation,
for someone ELSE choosing false perspective.
I'm tired of being treated like crap,
without warning or without fair reason.
I'm tired of trying to make things work with those who are thriving off the broken pieces of a ridiculous situation.
I'm tired of drama altogether.

I'm sticking with the REAL out there,
and shying from the silly games.
Grow up, because thats where I'm headed.
And in no way will I hesitate to leave anyone, who refuses to come with me, behind.

Friends work WITH, not against.
Lesson learned, now measures taken.

Take It Or Leave Me

Its funny how people change.
Some for better, some for worst.
It doesnt surprise me.
Relationships, however, can have me sitting.
Can have me thinking.
Can start my writing,
On a night like this.
I do believe some friendships come, while others go.
But I cant help but to have more of a forever-feeling
with those I have more faith in.
I ask nobody to stay,
because that gives the option of leaving.
I dont like labels anymore.
They represent nothing but a shallow claim.
If you mean something to me, Ill miss you.
If I mean something to you, I wont have to.
Because, youll never leave my side.
People forget how to be a friend nowadays.
They give up too easily,
forget too quickly,
and given this world of struggle,
letting go is all they know.