Caught On Guard

I shouldn't have felt anything from your random text.
"Time will never kill the pain" at 11:14PM
I guess it just didn't feel like it was one in a million this time.
I should've never took concern in "It doesn't matter".
I shouldn't have called you.
You're still the only one that could keep me talking for that long,
keep me wanting to keep talking.
I never wanted to stop talking to you.
I know you well enough to call your performance.
I felt your heart again, it was no act.
I got the truth from you last night.
You've realized I'm not your silly freshmen anymore.
So with your confession, you had nothing to lose.
It hurts, because you're still the only one.
Nobody has touched me in the ways that you have.
Which will always give you way right back to my heart.
Its not my place to be the one to understand why you did what you did.
I'm supposed to accept what you did & learn from it.
I think I've learned a wrong lesson here.
I learned to hate you.
Last night, I forgot,
& I missed you again, not just what you were to me.
I miss you.
I was convinced you lost me, I wanted nothing to do with you.
Now, I miss you?
My ears got caught on your words of the past.
My heart was then yanked along,
and smacked right up against you.
You had my virgin love,
so I grew to love you without reason.
Yes, high school got the best of you.
It got the best of me too.
But, I can't help but shake the feeling I get when I think about what I was put through.
You can't mend these scars.
And although maybe I might've wanted to,
I can't mend them either.
Time won't kill the pain, but it'll help in other ways.
And those other ways, will rid your pain.
I can't keep letting you go like this.
You gotta stop coming back to me.

Everybody tells me what you are.
But my opinion of you, is always on me.
Oh, how you can make me sway.