Can't Pretend Forever

Sometimes moving on is your choice.
Its a choice forced upon yourself, by yourself.
I know what choice I'm going to make,
its not one I want to make.
Well...in the long run it is.
For the short run, not so much.
It's hard to give up something you genuinely like,
something you enjoy day by day...
its hard to give it up because of the inevitable.
In highschool, lets face it, we all never REALLY thought about the reality-based future.
I'm 18 years old, a college kid with an undeclared major.
Thats one thing I still need to figure out.
Not to mention, college expenses.
Which my job also falls under, considering I want to keep the hours I've been getting,
while maintaining a good GPA and stressless mind.
I want to get somewhere, I'm not going to be stuck in bakersfield forever.
I could've went to a University or State if I truly wanted to.
But truth be told, it's expensive and I haven't found my passion yet.
My reason for leaving would've simply been just because I want to leave.
And I'm not gonna cast thousands of dollars of loans upon myself just because I want to leave town.
Thats living for the short run, and debting for the long run.
And if I were completely sure about anything in life, it'd be that I stay thinking ahead.
...
and im brought back to my initial point of this blog.
I'm not letting go. I don't want to call it that.
I'm moving on.
It was a fun experience, that I'd like to keep.
Oh boy would I like to keep him around.
But its not the same, it doesn't feel the same, it doesn't feel right.
...but more importantly,
it doesn't make sense.
I want to be independent again.