Unstill

When the stakes are high, my nerves get the best of me,
&the shaking begins.
&my breathing slows to short quick breaths.
Every thought runs through my mind, though I can't recall any but the one that repeats itself more than the rest,
"Am I going to...? Yes...No...Yes"
And really its all in a moment.
One second holds the heart of my vulnerability.
I've been here before.
&now that I'm more than one string attached,
I ask you not to puppet my feelings.

Independency, I'm holding onto you for dear life.